Facing danger on a daily basis, being shipped off to a faraway country at a moment’s notice, not being able to see or even contact family and friends for extended periods of time, these are all essential elements of being a military member. Thus, having a healthy social and romantic life is not something that comes easy to men and women in uniforms, not to mention going on dates and searching for love while thinking about the next deployment.
That is why military singles have started massively switching from traditional to online dating, as it makes matters a bit easier and erases geographical boundaries. The top military dating sites allow military members to expand their dating pool to include civilians from their homeland or halfway across the world. However, in order for online dating to work between a military member and a civilian, there are some rules that both sides need to keep in mind.
Here are the basic dos and don’ts of military online dating.
DO Show Respect And Appreciation
Members of the military are brave people who are risking their lives for the greater good. Thus, they are more than worthy of respect and they should be praised for their sacrifice. Of course, you should not go overboard and seem like you are idolizing your love interest. Still, little signs of how much you appreciate everything your potential partner and his or her brothers and sisters in arms do for their country can go a long way.
The same rule applies to military singles. Just because your potential partner is not a hero in the same sense you are, you should not act as if you are superior to him or her. Be sure to show respect, express interest in what your love interest does, and do not fail to praise what is worth praising.
DO Learn The Military Lingo
If you have never dated a military member before, you might be surprised by how many acronyms and military terms find their way into ordinary conversations led by people in uniforms. This may seem intimidating at first, but there is no need to worry. No one expects you to understand everything from the very start. However, in order to help communication run smoothly, you might want to take time to learn the basics. That way, you do not have to ask questions constantly or stay silent because you are not sure what is being said.
On the other hand, as a military member dating a civilian, you should be aware of the fact that civilians do not necessarily understand military terminology. Try to reduce its use to a minimum, at least at first, so your love interest does not feel uncomfortable.
DO Talk About Non-Military Topics
There is no need to talk about military topics ad nauseam while trying to figure out whether you are right for each other. Explore each other’s interests – talk about music, hobbies, likes, and dislikes – so you could find out what else you may have in common. Military dating services give you a chance to have long talks and get to know someone well before taking the relationship to the next level, so try to focus on each other’s personalities instead of occupations.
DO Keep The Conversation Light
Military life is hard and filled with stress and life-threatening situations. Military online dating was designed to counterbalance these negative aspects and allow members of the military to easily meet interesting singles, make friends, fall in love, and simply have fun while enriching their social and romantic lives. Thus, when chatting with someone you met on a military dating site, try to keep the conversation casual and pleasant. It is sure to make the other person feel more at ease, relieve stress, and increase the odds of forming a more lasting relationship.
DON’T Put The Emphasis On The Uniform
This one is especially important for the civilian partner to remember. If you find men or women in uniforms irresistible, you are not alone. But keep in mind that underneath the uniform is a unique person with a unique personality. If you keep talking about how happy you are to date someone who wears a uniform, the other person may take it as a sign that the uniform is all you care about and that you could easily date any other military member. Thus, be sure to show you like the whole package, not only something your love interest has in common with thousands of other people in the same line of work.
DON’T Ask Sensitive Questions
There are some details military members do not want to share and there are others that they simply are not allowed to share. Thus, be careful when asking questions and stick to safer, neutral topics. Otherwise, you may seem nosy or you may accidentally force your potential partner to remember something he or she would rather forget. Consequently, this may give rise to negative emotions and affect your relationship.
DON’T Expect Too Much Too Soon
At the beginning of this article, we mentioned some of the reasons why military singles have a hard time forming and maintaining romantic relationships. Since they never know where their work will take them and what kind of dangers they may face, they cannot promise regular dates and constant attention. This is not ideal, but it is the reality and something the civilian partner needs to accept, even though it is difficult. Thus, both sides should be understanding and reasonable in their expectations.
Enjoy the time you spend together and focus on all the positive sides of your relationship. That is the key to success in military online dating as well as dating in general.
Bottom Line
One of the hardest things about dating a soldier is that they are often away from home. They may miss birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates and events while fighting for their country. The very real danger they have to face every single day puts a lot of stress on their partners who are often left managing the “homefront” on their own.
Having said all that, being in a relationship with a member of the military is one of the most rewarding experiences you can imagine and welcoming them back from a tour feels like being reborn. Your relationship may have some challenges, but it is nothing you will not be able to manage if you truly care for each other.
This guide introduced you to some of the most important rules for a successful approach to military online dating that should serve you well beyond the dating stage and into your relationship. If you are absolutely sure that this is what you want, you will become that one shining star your partner will keep coming back to. Is not that what we all want from our relationships?
